“Marriage Just May Save Your Life”.
The title of several articles appearing over the last few days on both news channels and written commentaries. What does this really mean? What does it mean to all survivors whether married or single? Please read the following excerpts followed by my commentary.
A new study, published in the Journal of Clinical Oncology by authors including Dr. Paul Nguyen of Brigham and Women’s Cancer Center, came to this conclusion after scrutinizing data from nearly one million patients.
Psychologically speaking, cancer is a terrifying diagnosis, one that’s too scary to bear all by yourself. Sharing the emotional burden with a partner means the patient is less distressed, depressed or anxious, all of which have been linked to better health overall. That is great news for the 51% of Americans who are married. But what if your single?, or widowed? Nguyen doesn’t want news of this study to scare unmarried people. Instead, it should remind all of us the importance of social support.
USA Today (9/24, Szabo, 5.82M) reports that in a statement, Gregory Masters, a spokesman for the American Society of Clinical Oncology, said, “We have made substantial scientific progress in cancer treatment, but these gains need to be framed around the whole patient, their access to care and support systems.” According to Masters, “This study shows that spousal support is critically important in improving outcomes for patients with cancer. But for unmarried patients, the entire caregiver team – nurses, social workers, psychologists – needs to provide and help identify additional sources of social support.”
Forbes (9/25, Walton, 6.03M) contributor Alice G. Walton writes that physicians “should be especially sensitive to their patients’ social support networks, as this may play a large role in how the patient responds to treatment and survives the disease.”
On its website, NBC News (9/24, Dahl, 6.79M) points out that “the National Institutes of Health and the National Cancer Institute spends $5 billion annually on studying the biological aspect of cancer.” However, the researchers in this new study “argue that at least some of that money should be devoted to studying social support interventions, especially among the unmarried, as a way of improving the odds of cancer survival.”
“This is not supposed to be a downer for single people; this is not supposed to be just a pat on the back for married people, “Nguyen says. “This is really supposed to be something that gets us all to think about how we can help each other—how we can help our friends, and our loved ones , with cancer.
“What this shows is that social support can really make a big difference, and that by being there for somebody – going to their appointments, helping them through their treatment – you can really make a real difference in their chance of surviving,” Nguyen says. “It can be a very practical thing, like having somebody to go to the doctor with you,” Nguyen says. While the actual patient might be reeling from the scariness of it all, the partner can listen, take notes and ask questions, he says.
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After reading the actual study it did not surprise me that this conclusion was met. Individuals going through a critical illness of any type experience much less stress when having a support person to help them through their journey. Ask any survivor.
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The real secret to survival may be “social support” rather than a wedding ring, said first author Ayal Aizer, chief resident of the Harvard Radiation Oncology program in Boston, in a statement.
What makes a difference? I believe, support in various ways, make a HUGH difference upon diagnosis… whether you are married or single. Having someone advocate and navigate on your behalf is crucial. This will quickly take some of the “decision making” weight, per say, off your shoulders. Emotional issues are another factor. The need for this advocate or another individual to help you through the ups and downs associated with both medical and psychological issues is equally as important.
Just because you are married does not always mean that you will gain the emotional support that you need. There are many reasons as well as extenuating circumstances that can interfere. After all, not all marriage partners are able to sacrifice the time spent going through months of treatment, testing and side effects while worrying about remaining financially solvent and keeping your medical insurance intact. The emotional toll is another issue.
I believe, after having gone through several cancer experiences, as both a married and then single woman that you need to compile a team of support.
#1. Find and fit the right person to the right need.
#2. Do not feel that you have to accept all offers of support. Some may just not fit into your individual plan. You may find those that can assist with transportation but, you are not comfortable having with you during a treatment.
#3. It is crucial to choose “someone” who can advocate on your behalf. Someone who can research and search for the right Physicians, Medical Centers, Treatments (both conservative and complementary), etc. and be able to interact tactfully with those that you choose for your medical team.
#4. Consider emotional support. Choose family members, friends and or professionals that you feel comfortable with. Each may play a different role as time goes by. Additionally, Support Groups give you the opportunity to network with other survivors.
For over 27 years I have been involved personally, as well as professionally, within the medical and support community. I am acutely aware of what is truly needed during an individual’s journey regardless of whether you are married or single. Please do not hesitate to contact me for assistance, as well as, to access my website for information in regards to the services that I can provide and that are available should you have the need.
Sue Cleveland
Health Support Services, LLC